Personal Reflections

Thoughts, struggles, and ideas we a dealing with through this process.

The Voice of Truth

By trina in Personal Reflections 8 Comments

A Good Song

Chad and Asher had just left for church when I started to do the dishes last night. I didn’t go because I was feeling sick, like usual. I usually like to listen to music while doing this, so I went to youtube and found the song, “Voice of Truth,” by Casting Crowns. I have heard this song many times before, but as I was listening to the chorus, still washing dishes, I literally began to weep.

“And the voice of truth tells me a different story, the voice of truth says do not be afraid. The voice of truth says this is for my glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.”

The part I began to weep on was the part I bolded, “The voice of truth says this is for my glory.” I just couldn’t get that out of my head. I thought to myself, if every struggle, every trial, every difficulty we ever go through is for HIS glory, doesn’t that make it all worth it? Easy? Absolutely not. But worth it? Absolutely yes. I pictured my struggles bringing Him glory and I just couldn’t stop crying. Let me say that again, my struggles, your struggles, bring Him glory.

Discouragement

I’ll share a little about why this was such a huge impact on me last night. These past few weeks have been very difficult for me. I have been extremely sick with this pregnancy, unable to really do much of anything. I have felt more discouraged and defeated in the past month than I ever remember feeling. I have felt like a horrible mother for letting Asher sit in front of the tv while I lay on the couch, unable to hardly move. I have felt like a horrible wife for not being able to clean, cook, or even make the bed each day. I feel completely disconnected from the ministry, rarely going to church and not visiting the mothers at the hospital. And I hate it when I have to make a trip to the bathroom to throw up, locking the door behind me, only to have Asher screaming and banging on the door for mommy to come out. He knows what I do in there and he gets very concerned about me, always asking, “What’s wrong honey?”

Why?

So yes, it’s been a difficult month. Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond the moon excited for this baby; and nothing amazes me more than the miracle that is the creation of a baby. I know many women would give anything to feel sick if it meant they could carry a child themselves. My heart breaks for them. Which is why I am very thankful that God chose to bless us with a second child. I also know that God teaches us lessons throughout our lives, many times through a trial. And why does He do this? Because He loves us and wants whats best for us. But also because it is all for His glory. And knowing this, knowing that my God is glorified through my struggles makes it all worth it.

 

Church Makes Me Sad

By Chad Baron in Personal Reflections, Stories from Honduras 3 Comments

Church Makes Me Sad

I usually stand at the back of church on Sunday morning so I can say Hi and shake hands with the people as they come. I see a lot standing there.

This Sunday there was one young girl sitting on the steps below me sobbing. I know this girl. She is 18 and living with her boyfriend and making bad decisions. It is hard to blame her though when you know the trauma she has been through. A little later she was sitting outside by herself so I went and sat by her and asked her what was wrong. She is living in her boyfriend’s house but hasn’t seen him for a couple days. He doesn’t call and won’t answer her calls. She is worried. What if he found someone else? What if she throws her out? Where will she go? I asked how her relationship with God is. She said she isn’t really following Him because there isn’t a church close to where she lives. I told her we love her and if she needs something she can come to us. But I’m not sure what I can do.

There was another guy at church. He is married with a 2 year old son and his wife is 9 months pregnant. He is in his 20′s and for work he sells cell phone accessories in the street. He doesn’t make enough money for his family to live on and is worried. He can’t read because he only went to school through 2nd grade. Despite the struggles in his life, there are few people I have ever seen who worship the Lord so genuinely. When he is worshipping he is all in.

I sat and talked with another young man I know. He has the biggest servant’s heart of anyone I have ever met. He is always smiling and always helping someone. He is married and him and his wife live on less than $300 a month. The house they live in gets broken in to all the time. Anything they had of value has been broken or stolen. They need to move but can’t afford to.

The stories go on and on. And last Sunday as I sat there looking out over the congregation with many of their stories playing through my head, I got very sad. I was sad because I want to do more to help them. Some of them need training and discipleship. Some of them just need a little money. Some need a place to live. But I don’t have the time or the money to help them all. There is only so much I can do.

Hope

Then I read this verse from 1 Kings 8:56 this morning:

“Blessed be the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, according to all that he promised. Not one word has failed of all his good promise, which he spoke by Moses his servant.”

It gives me hope. The people of Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. Then they entered the promised land but still had battles to fight to rid the land of their enemies. But after it was done, those who remained faithful to the Lord got to enjoy his promises. Every one. Not one word of the Lord failed. And I believe the same is true today. On the other side of every season of difficulty and trial there is a season of blessing. And that blessing is from the Lord, not from me.

I wish I could do more. In the coming years I hope I am able to do more. But ultimately I know the responsibility rests on the Lord. These are His people just as I am His servant. He has promised blessing to those who remain faithful.

I Can’t Imagine

By trina in Personal Reflections 8 Comments

A Different Perspective

Going to the maternity ward these days gives me somewhat of a different perspective, now that I am pregnant myself. When entering each room and visiting the mothers and their babies, the phrase, “I can’t even imagine,” seems to come to my mind a lot. I would like to share those ‘can’t imagine’ moments with you to give you a glimpse into the lives of some of these women. Some might be a little graphic, but this is their life.

The Can’t Imagine’s

I can’t imagine giving birth in a room with five other women, who are also giving birth. I can’t imagine giving birth in a hospital where my Dr. might be a medical student (not a real Dr.). I can’t imagine, after just having my baby, being brought to a room where there are again 5 other women. I can’t imagine not having my husband by my side with me during labor. I can’t imagine not having even one loved one come to visit me. I can’t imagine laying in a bed with my own blood soaked sheets. I can’t imagine the excruciating pain of a C-section, the terrible pain afterwards, and no pain meds. I can’t imagine using a sheet as underwear, especially after just giving birth. I can’t imagine losing a baby after delivery, and then being placed in a room where 5 other women are cuddling theirs. I can’t imagine leaving the hospital, still in pain from the delivery, and having to catch a taxi or sit on a bus full of people in the smothering heat. I CAN’T IMAGINE.

Planting Seeds

My last visit to the hospital was just this morning. I almost didn’t go because of the morning sickness I’ve been having. And I didn’t know how the hospital smells and sights would make me feel. But God wanted to me go. Each time I visit the hospital, there is usually one or two girls that strike a chord within my heart. Today there was a girl who looked no older than 15 years old. She was laying horizontal in her bed with a full bed pan laying next to her. One of the nurses came in to draw her blood. I could see the fear in her eyes as that needle was about to make its way in her arm, so I grabbed her hand and let her squeeze. I left her with this one message that I hope plants a seed: “There is a KING in the heavens and you are HIS princess. Jesus loves you.” And this I CAN imagine.

More Goodbye’s

By trina in Personal Reflections 2 Comments

Goodbye's are never fun.

More Visitors

Having visitors in our home always reminds us how much we love hello’s and how much we hate goodbye’s, especially when it’s family. We had the wonderful blessing of having Chad’s whole family visit us during spring break. This was an extra 8 people, making that 11 total, all in the same house. It was a busy week as we tried to show them as much of the ministry as we could, as well as some sightseeing, in such a short amount of time. But it was a good week. And one that none of us will ever forget.

Servant’s Hearts

For our 3 nieces and 1 nephew (between the ages of 7-14), it was their first time out of the country. Their eyes were opened to the drastic differences from the Honduran culture to their own. But they handled it all so well. It was clear to see their servants hearts as they made sandwiches for the kids on the street, as they wrapped bundles for the moms and babies at the hospital, and as they handed out toothbrushes and toothpaste to the kids at the orphanage. It was beautiful to see them truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Welcome to Honduras!

Exciting News to Share

We also were very blessed to have the family here for another reason. We got to share the wonderful news of our pregnancy (due December 4th)! It’s very difficult to share such great news with loved ones from so far away. So we were excited to have some family here to share in our excitement with hugs and congratulations. If you look at the picture to your right, you will notice the sign that I am holding. This is how we told Chad’s family.

40 Years

Chad’s parents celebrated their 40th anniversary in February. This family trip was a celebration of just that. We are so thankful that they chose to take the family here and for all the money that they put into this trip. We will cherish the memories made and the time spent together. Thank you Jim and Laurie!

Grandpa and Grandma with their 5 grandkids.

 

A Sacrifice

By trina in Personal Reflections 1 Comment

All so happy to be together again!

They’re Gone

My parents just left today, and we are sad. It was so great spending time with them, showing them the ministry, and especially watching them bond with Asher. We couldn’t be more grateful for the time and money they spent to come see us. It’s times like this that we never take for granted, and we truly do treasure.

Time Spent

We were fortunate to be able to show them most of the ministry and what we do. We went to the Feeding Centers, the Maternity Ward, and mom even braved the streets! We also took them to see some of the more beautiful parts of Honduras, including the statue of Jesus (El Picacho), and a little tourist town known as Valley of Angles. But I think what they really enjoyed the most was just spending time with their grandson, and who can blame them!

Asher loved to walk hand in hand with his Papa and Nana.

Sacrifice

So saying goodbye was not, and never is, easy. It’s a huge sacrifice for all three of us, and it…is…hard. Sometimes I just wish we lived back in Lynden so we could see each other whenever we wanted. And it’s difficult to watch Asher bond so much with his grandparents and then have to turn around and say goodbye once again.

Hello’s Are Good

But God never said it was going to be easy. We knew there would be many sacrifices that we would have to make along the way. And even though it is very hard to be without your loved ones, we are still confident that this is where God has called us for this season of our life. So while saying goodbye is never any fun, we always look forward to the many sweet hello’s.

A Little R & R

By trina in Personal Reflections, Stories from Honduras 2 Comments

Yes, the sand really is that white, and the water really is that turquoise.

We Need a Break

Chad and I have been waiting for the day when we could just take a break. Anyone who has worked or currently works in ministry knows the meaning of overload. So working in full time ministry definitely takes a toll on you. We told ourselves that moving here and being missionaries meant that we had to take breaks, at least every few months. We received this wise advice from many who had worked in full time missions, and we fully planned on giving ourselves a little R&R when needed. But time gets away from you, and before you know it 6 months have gone by and you are completely burned out.

Out for dinner one night with our friends.

An Island Getaway

Well, God chose to recently bless us with a much needed getaway. The three of us, along with two other missionary couple friends (a total of 9 of us), spent a long weekend on the island of Roatan, which is a short 1 hour flight from Tegucigalpa. We have always heard about Roatan and how beautiful it is, and we have always wanted to go there but just never had the chance. So when our friends John and Rebecca told us they were going and invited us along, we jumped at the opportunity for a little vacation.

DOLPHINS!

Recharged and Rejuvenated

We had a wonderful time. We swam in the beautiful blue ocean. We went snorkeling. And we even got to spend some time with dolphins! This little getaway also gave us the chance to get recharged and rejuvenated for our next season of ministry. We couldn’t be more grateful for that time away.

On a boat ride to see the dolphins!

Do What You Love For Those You Love

By trina in Personal Reflections, Stories from Honduras 9 Comments

Michelle and Shuanny making some treats at Monday night Bible Study.

Baking + Young Women

I love to bake. I love the young women in my church. How do you put those two together? I bake for the young women in our church! Every Monday night at church is Bible Study night where the men and women break off into separate groups. Every Monday night, I come with some sort of baked good in hand. And every Monday night, I see wide eyes and a bunch of smiling faces, excited to take part in some deliciousness!

What’s Baking?

Now I am not saying that I am the world’s greatest baker. Although I sometimes wish I was an employee at Cake Boss. But when you live in a place where baking is unheard of in the home, you can see why a cupcake gets the crowd going. I remember the first time I brought treats to Bible Study, almost everyone asked me if I made “these.” It was only chocolate chip cookies! But it’s something so foreign to them, so they couldn’t believe that I had made them myself. I really give my mother all the credit. After all, there weren’t many days when we would come home from school and NOT find a black bottom cupcake, peanut butter blossom, or a monster cookie sitting on the counter, waiting to be devoured!

A Better Life

Silly Kensi, enjoying her treats!

Last week at church, I had a conversation with 22 year old Kensi, who asked me when I was going to give baking classes at church. Many of the girls and women keep asking me this same question. But Kensi’s reasoning is what touched my heart. She wants to learn how to bake so she can sell the baked goods on the street and make money to support herself and her 2 year old son (she currently is a hot dog vender on the streets). To think that I could be a part of that puts a joy inside my heart.

A Dream

God has put it on my heart to start some baking classes at church. This obviously involves time and money, so I am just in the thought process of it all; but I am excited nonetheless. Our church already has a kitchen in the upstairs, but it just needs some TLC. We will need a couple of stoves, cooking utensils, and your key baking ingredients. But I know that God will provide. So please pray with me to make this dream a reality and to help these young women help themselves and their families.

Would You Go To Church?

By trina in Personal Reflections, Stories from Honduras 3 Comments

Here are some of the kids that don't miss a service. Can you pick out the white kid? :)

How many of us can say that when we were between the ages of 6 and 15, we would have  gone to church without our parents, just because we wanted to be there?

There is a group of kids who come every Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to our church services, without their parents. Many of them are siblings and they live in the apartment building next to our church. Some of the kids even have baby siblings that they take care of and bring along with them. Just this past Sunday, I saw a 9 year old girl sitting on the steps in our church, holding her baby sister who was sleeping. And where are the parents? They are in their apartment while their children attend church.

I am reminded of the verse in Luke (18:17), where it says, “Truly I tell you, anyone who  will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” When I think of this verse, I think of these children. They know how to receive the kingdom of God, and we can all learn a thing or two from these precious ones.

These children have taught me so much. They’re not forced to attend church. They could be doing tons of other things during those 4 days a week that we have church service. But they choose to be there. They want to go. They love to come and hear God’s word. So yes, I do believe that receiving the kingdom of God like a little child is the way to go.

A New Year

By trina in Personal Reflections 1 Comment

As it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “…the old has gone, the new has come.” I look at this in terms of the new year. 2011 is in the past. And while it was a very difficult year, it is gone. But the new is here and we are excited to see what God has in store for us and for the ministry. I know it is 12 days past the start of the new year, but I wanted to share some of the goals that both Chad and I have on our hearts for 2012.

Speaking Spanish

Chad and Carlitos have become best buds and Chad loves practicing his Spanish with him.

We both have one major desire and that is to speak and understand this language fluently. It has been one of our biggest struggles since being here, and we continue to struggle with it daily. It’s true that we have both come a very long way in our communicating with others. But we are definitely not at the level that we so badly desire. We have developed some amazing friendships with people in our church. But what we truly desire is to deepen those relationships by speaking into their lives, and that’s hard to do when you don’t speak the same language! So one goal we both have is to improve our Spanish language skills.

ONE of Trina’s Goals

My small group girls from church, when we threw a baby shower for some ladies in the church.

Since moving here, my passion has been working with troubled teenage girls, mainly those from the Eagle’s Nest. But since we closed down the girls home, God has laid it on my heart to work with the girls in our church, ranging from ages 5-18. They may or may not have been physically or sexually abused, but they all nonetheless come from hard places. I have developed a special bond with these girls and I look forward to receiving their hugs at church. So one goal of mine is to further these relationships and speak into the lives of these young girls.

ONE of Chad’s Goals

Chad continues to pray, plan, and prepare for what has been on his heart the most: Our Boy’s Home. And God is continuing to open doors for this part of our ministry. Chad recently met with a Honduran business man, who God just placed right in front of us, who owns a beautiful piece of property outside of the city. He wants the property to be used for ministry and for farming, which is exactly what we were praying for. There is still a lot that needs to be planned and processed and decided, but we continue to pray and are hopeful that this goal will soon be accomplished.

More Thanks

Thank you for your continued support, thoughts, and prayers. This year wouldn’t be possible without the love and support that you continue to lavish on us. We thank God for you daily. Happy New Year!

We Won’t Be Home With Bells On

By trina in Personal Reflections, The Road 6 Comments

No Bells

I had it all planned out. Christmas was going to be wonderful. We were planning a trip back to Lynden and we would be there for Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and for the whole week after. Someone even offered to buy our tickets home. I was looking forward to family and friends, peppermint mocha’s and oliebollens, sweaters and boots, cold weather, and maybe even some snow. My facebook status would read: “Trim the tree and wrap the presents, turn the Christmas music on, cause Christmas I’ll be home with bells on.”

The Plan

When we left Lynden this summer, we were almost 100% sure we would be returning for the holidays. This made it a bit easier to say goodbye since I “knew” we would be returning in just a few short months. When Kimberli came to our home almost one month ago now, we put a hault on our plans to return home; because we weren’t sure where she would go if we left. We then had the idea of taking her with us. But that would take months to get her a passport and all the needed paperwork. After talking to Alvin, it was decided that she could stay with his family over the holidays while we returned home. Back to the original plan: home it was!

PEACE

Chad never felt a peace about going back. I just kept pushing him saying, ‘we need to go back,’ ‘we need a break.’ He obliged and we decided we would spend about 8 days in Lynden for Christmas. But in my heart, I honestly did not feel a peace about it either. Something, or rather, SOMEONE, kept telling me, “You are not supposed to go. You need to stay here for Christmas.” I kept ignoring God, trying to justify that going to Lynden for Christmas was the right thing to do. But I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I couldn’t ignore God anymore. I needed to be obedient. So I went and told Chad what I was feeling, and after much prayer and many tears, we made the difficult decision to not return home this Christmas.

Trust and Obey

It’s amazing how hard it is to trust and obey God sometimes, especially when you want something so badly, and He is telling you you can’t have it. But it’s also amazing how His way is always best. I know this because of the overwhelming sense of peace I felt when we made the final decision to stay here for Christmas, with Kimberli. Today was one of the best days we have had since she has been here. Lots of laughing, lots of smiles, and lots of fun. And even though we would love nothing more than to spend Christmas with our families, we know that this is exactly where we are supposed to be this Christmas season.

Putting up our Christmas tree! Asher and Kimberli were all smiles!

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